a so called blog

Yes, I fucked up bad and spent some of my mother’s money. But she’s not mad about that. She’s mad because I spent money my grandfather gave me. Or in other words, because I spent my money.

She says I broke the trust she had in me. Yeah, i agree. Maybe that’s true. But how many times did she break mine ever since I was a small kid? Wanna know why I spent that money? Because I had to stay out of this house. Because I can’t stand the environment here. I can’t stand not being able to bring friends home to hang out. I can’t stand not being able to have my parents meet my friends because my mother doesn’t stand having visitors.

For the past 4 years, my life at home has been hell. My mum got sicker and sicker, and with that, lost touch with reality. She never once took the time to seek treatment, she was too busy with her computer. Too busy to see that me and my father are unhappy and drifting away from her.

All she did was complain that everything we did was wrong, and if it was her, it would be right. All she did was complain about everything we did, without once doing it.

Right now, I’m locked at home. I’m only allowed out to go to school. I’m not allowed out in weekends. I’m not allowed out at night. My car, bought with my money, was taken from me.

So now, I’m locked up in the place that hurts me the most. And that makes me feel worse then everything. And I’m usually insulted everyday, and I don’t say a word.

I don’t know how long I can stand this, I just don’t.